okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
