I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
