I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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