I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
