I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
