i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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