It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
