I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
