I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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