I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
