I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
