i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
