You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
