Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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