Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
