she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Someone shattered a urinal.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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