I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
