Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
