I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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