HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
