She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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