you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
