its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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