great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Someone signed my nipple.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
