I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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