Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
