you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
