i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
