is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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