he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
