Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
