So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
