I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
