Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
