I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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