It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he just fucked me for my cheese.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
