so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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