dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
