Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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