only you would photoshop your dick
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
