i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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