Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
