she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
