I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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