Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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