Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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