Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
