okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
