you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
