How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
